Wrap-up of weekend election jokes

11-03-2008 | AP

Late-night TV hosts take a crack at mocking presidential campaigns

Panama Star NEW YORK. As the presidential campaign nears its end, late-night TV hosts aren't letting up.

A selection of eight of the best jokes from this weekend, in no particular order, with Halloween a favorite topic among hosts:

1. Barack Obama "took time out to take his kids trick-or-treating. That was nice. He would only let them take candy from households making over $200,000. No candy from anybody under $200,000!" — Jay Leno, NBC's "Tonight Show."

2. "Halloween: It's the dead, walking among the living. That's what Halloween is. They come back to life. They're dead, but they're walking around. No, wait a minute — that's the McCain campaign." — David Letterman, CBS' "Late Show.”

3. "Everybody is in the Halloween spirit, and I love that. Even the Democratic presidential candidate changed his name. He's now Barack-O-Lantern." — David Letterman on CBS.

4. "They had to put out a special warning today (for) Sarah Palin's traveling press corps: Don't dress up as an animal, or she might shoot you." — Jimmy Kimmel on ABC's "Jimmy Kimmel Live!"

4."This week John McCain said that people who live in coastal states like Florida should get more of the money from offshore drilling. I think that's called 'spreading the wealth around.'" — Leno.

5. "Oprah Winfrey says she plans to attend Barack Obama's election night rally in Chicago. So, win or lose, Obama's going home with a new car." — Conan O'Brien on NBC's "Late Night."

6. After Obama's successful infomercial earlier this week, "John McCain is thinking of making one. But his is for the Craftmatic Adjustable Bed." — O'Brien.

7. "John McCain says Joe the Plumber is his 'role model' and today said he wan ts to take him to Washington if he's elected president. Not a bad idea: They will need someone to install safety rails around the House toilets." — Kimmel.

8. "This weekend is daylight savings. Everyone sets their clocks back. You know what that means: an extra hour for this stupid campaign." — Leno.