- 28/02/2009 01:00
PANAMA. It has taken me a few years of living in Panama to understand the “Male Macho” culture which is prevalent in most of Latin America.
If a son is born the mother ensures that everything is made easier for him. It starts with nurturing them, cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping and any other menial tasks.
As they approach their teenage years boys are encouraged to do sports, learn to dance, get mobile; and prepare to start learning a trade or go to college and take a diploma or a degree, as this should guarantee them a good job in the future.
If a girl is born she is taught by her mother to do the same things she does as when the son was born.
If you are from a fortunate family – meaning rich, you will employ maids to do these chores for you. As you approach teenage years, this will give you more time to do music, ballet, and language lessons. Ultimately your goal is to look beautiful and learn to be a socialite.
The problem with both of these premises is that they don’t work! Whose fault is it?
Well, I am sorry to say yes you ‘Mother’.
In this feminist age where each sex is meant to be equal and both are meant to have the same opportunities.
“How can this ‘macho culture’ work?” Well, quite simply it cannot, if you want to have a successful marriage later in life.
Let us define ‘Her needs - His needs’ for the perfect marriage.
First let’s look at the five needs of a wife: Affection, this symbolizes taking care of your wife, you are concerned with the problems they face, also you believe they have done a great job and are proud of them.
Conversation, wives need their husbands to talk to them and listen to them; they need two way conversation. Really though when your wife asks “Do you like my new dress” or “I love my new hairdo, don’t you?” you say assertively “Yes, Dear!” (A little white lie occasionally can go a long way).
Honesty and Openness, this probably is the most difficult one for the ‘male macho’ as this means no adulterous behavior.
Financial commitment, she needs enough money to live comfortably, the husband should earn enough money to allow her to feel supported and cared for.
Family commitment, a wife needs you to be a good father. You have to be there as the wife has a powerful instinct to have children, and you know you enjoy this activity!
Yes, they want you to take leadership but, occasionally ask for their opinion.
Second, his needs. Obviously the first is Sexual Fulfillment, I am afraid the typical wife really doesn’t understand our need for this anymore than hers for the need for affection.
I think men should take note that sex can come naturally if you give your wife enough affection!
Recreational Companionship, it is important that our wives become our playmate not only in the bedroom but also to join us in our interests, where they may find themselves watching sports and movies they would never have chosen on their own.
An Attractive Spouse, a man does not want to feel embarrassed when you go out together, I am afraid that we have difficulty finding inner qualities if you look like a hippopotamus.
Domestic Support, the male needs his wife to “take care of things” – especially him. Please give us some peace and quiet, don’t continually nag. Lastly,
Admiration, we need you to be proud of us tell us occasionally that we are ‘fantastic,’ this will inspire us to achieve even more.
Having been married for almost twenty forty years to a beautiful Panamanian woman I am afraid I am not a great ‘poster child’ for the ‘male macho’ as I do most of the domestic chores and ‘No, I am not gay!’
I am just a modern day man.
