Philandering, way of life for some

Who do you think has affairs? Many people tend to think that only bad people have affairs or only people in bad relationships... but no one is immune from an affair. Monogamy is something most people say they believe in and want for themselves. Every survey ever done on this question shows a high percentage of people think monogamy is important to marriage and that affairs are wrong.

Belief in monogamy, however, doesn't prevent large numbers of people from having extramarital affairs. Most people don't intend to have an affair and most people don't think it will happen to them ?. but it does.

‘So how often do you think affairs happen?’ Most research reflects that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will be involved in an extramarital affair! These figures are even more significant when you consider the total number of marriages involved. Studies have shown that at least one partner will have an affair in approximately 72 percent of all marriages.

Having been happily married for almost a quarter of a century I obviously am in the minority having never had an affair outside of the marital home. However, I can see why people do it.

If you set aside "love" and "investment" and "trust" for a moment, and just focus on "lust" and "attraction" then the reason is pretty simple. It doesn't matter how pretty your spouse is, sooner or later, the "lust" and "attraction" will point in other directions, if only because of "sameness".

Again, ignoring love and trust and these deeper feelings, lust and sex and attraction is just like any other pleasure activity, sameness leads to a desire for something different, and a curiosity on what something different would be like.

It's why mountain climbers want to climb more than one mountain even if they have a favorite climb, why car enthusiasts may have a favorite car, but would drive many if they could, why people have favorite foods but like to try something different. It's part of exploring, and the excitement of discovering something new, which a person can want at the same time as wanting the comfort and safety as something that is the same.

This is why I believe it is so important not to get married too young. In this day and age one should experience all aspects of life prior to committing yourself to one person. I know my wife and I did and that is probably why we have had a successful marriage. If more people took this simple advice I am sure these statistics would be significantly lower.

In Latin America it seems to be almost a way of life regardless of age. I must admit I have some trouble understanding this as it is so hypocritical when religion plays such a big role in life. I am not sure but I think one of the ‘Ten Commandments’ prohibits this activity! Also, as prostitution is legal and exotic dancers are abundant in Panama not to mention the added benefit of the so called ‘Push Buttons’ you certainly have plenty of opportunities to perfect your craft.

In certain countries if you are brought to divorce court by your spouse and found guilty, you automatically forfeit fifty per cent of your income and possessions which in most cases would include the house. Not to mention possible deductions against future earnings.

In Panama like all things it is a little different. There are various statutes but, due to the ‘Mora judicial’ (backlog) you will have to wait for several years for your case to be heard. Unfortunately by then your ex- philandering spouse has probably moved on to other partners and utilized any possible revenue you should have had in courting them.